Would you RISK IT ALL, to TRY SOMETHING NEW?

I remember this moment very clearly. 

It was a seventh grade girl. 

And we were in a group.

We were talking about regrets… which you wouldn’t think that middle school girls would have a lot of at this point. But I remember so clearly what she said,

“I wish I would have started sports when I was younger, because now I’m out of luck. It’s too late for me.”

Can you imagine feeling it’s too late to start something …as a seventh grade girl? 

It was flabbergasting to me. 

But at the same time, I could totally relate to where she was coming from. 

How often do all of us feel like we’re too scared to risk starting something new? 

You may not be “risking it all’ per se… but sometimes that is how it feels to a tween/teen girl!

Trying something new is particularly difficult in those teen and tween years, because there is brain chemistry that is telling you, “Everyone is looking at me, everyone is looking at me!” 

And they’re really not. 

But you don’t know that because your brain is developing in a way that is telling you that THAT IS  what is happening! 

Luckily, I coach girls through the process of putting themselves out there and starting something new, trying something new, taking a risk to do something they haven’t done before ALL THE TIME! 

LET’s TALK ABOUT FEELINGS!

The first thing we talk about is our FEELINGS! Excitement? Curiosity? Plain old fear? 

We dig deeper on both what they WANT and WHY, while also evaluating why they think, “I’m afraid to go after that.” 

Let’s GET THROUGH this, by asking some QUESTIONS! 

Question #1: What’s the worst thing that could happen? Realistically? What is the absolute worst thing that could happen? 

For example, if they’re talking about auditioning for a play, for the first time ever. What is the absolute worst thing that could happen?  

Their answer “Well, I could freeze or I could do really horribly. Or, I might even faint or forget and not even be able to perform in that moment. I could freeze. 

Question #2 if any of those things happen, could you live with it? Would you survive? Would you continue to move forward in life despite the setback? 

And to these questions, they always respond… “absolutely, yes, yes, I would still be alive.” 

SIDENOTE:  they almost kind of roll their eyes at me at that point.

Question #3 What is the likelihood that that worst case scenario is going to happen?

This elicits an excellent conversation, as we dig deeper into the particulars of each situation and explore the unknowns.  In the end, the chances of the worst case scenario happening is pretty slim. 

Question #4 What are the actual things that we’re afraid of?  

Through this conversation, we figure out that often, we are not actually afraid of taking the risk and doing the thing. We’re afraid of the fallout afterwards. 

The potential embarrassment.

Who is looking at us what are they thinking?  

Turns out, we’re often afraid of what happens afterward we try the thing.   

This is where we realize …  

1. People aren’t actually looking about us at us or thinking about us nearly as much as we think they are. And…
2. If they are, gosh, that’s sad for them. They don’t have enough of a life, or  things that they’re passionate about, if they have time to be worried about what we did or didn’t do and how good we were at it.

What a great conversation we get to have about the POSSIBILITY of trying something new! There is so much life to look forward to for my tween and teen clients! So we end with this …

Question #5 What could you learn in this situation, success or failure? 

What might you be able to learn about yourself, about the world, about what you really care about, about who you can become when you take a risk? 

These questions help them to make a better decision. 

They take the risk, and they’re better for it. 

I love what I get to do as a mentor for tweens. 

I love encouraging them to break out of their box, and to be their best self.

I love being their cheerleader. 

And if, in the end, they don’t get the exact thing that they were shooting for, I love being there to help walk them through that. I love helping them learn the lessons that shore them up and make sure that they’re ready to try again. 

I hope that you are able to implement these tools and question when YOU want to start something new. 

I hope that you are able to take a risk next time when it’s something you care about, when it’s something that’s important that you. 

I guarantee you, it’s so much better to start, and to have taken the chance and see what happens. Then to remain stuck and always have to wonder …”what if?” 

Keep choosing your thoughts and create a life that you love.

Because THAT is how you change the world.